"I'm not jealous. I am envious. Jealousy is the fear that someone will take what you have, envy is wanting what another has. What I feel is envy. " He explained to us the great man who was Homer Simpson with surprising precision.
And he was right.
Envy and jealousy are by no means the same thing.
These are two emotions that since the dawn of modern times have caused many troubles to us human beings, easy prey of the most violent and aggressive instincts. Often stand out in the sentimental field, between couple games and betrayals we were not even on "Beautiful", but they also affect other aspects such as friendship, the workplace and even the family itself.
If you say you have never been jealous / envious of someone, you are a liar.
We manifest this type of feeling from an early age, perhaps a little more innocently than when we experience it as adults, which instead tends to blind reason and common sense.
Let's talk about envy. Envy is also one of the seven deadly sins (and from which Magnum once made an ice cream that unfortunately i couldn't eat); and one of the most treacherous.
It doesn't mean it's more important than jealousy, of course, though; it is the one that is most commonly experienced.
Sometimes it takes very little to unleash this evil spark: for example, when teachers at school make comparisons between students' grades, at home with sibling skills, in the office if an employee manages to be more successful than someone else despite we struggled at the same level. In short, it can happen at any time and involuntarily.
Søren Kierkegaard said about envy, alongside admiration:
“Envy is secret admiration. A person full of admiration who feels they cannot become happy by abandoning themself [giving up their pride] chooses to become envious of what he admires ... Admiration is a happy loss of self, envy an unhappy affirmation of self . "
Reading this sentence I realized, from personal experience; which is true.
When I was a little girl (12 years old, middle school time) I envied my sister's artistic skills. I saw her as so good and talented that I could only be a little angry; both with myself and with her; since she succeeded in something that I, on the contrary; I didn't see myself realizing. I complained so much that at a certain point my sister gave me a good lesson: she forced me to learn to draw, and despite my initial skepticism I succeeded in the enterprise.
Since that day I have no longer felt envy, only admiration for that great woman she is today.
I am happy to be able to change, unfortunately very often this worm is not easily eliminated and tends to consume the heart of the individual.
It's bad to see a lot of people negatively criticize something or someone just out of envy. Often it is not even possible to announce the success of a project or a happy news that the envious person on duty will arrive to spoil the party.
I mean, what do you get for making bad comments? You're just proving you're an asshole.
Never, as in these cases; it is important to listen to the voice of reason.
As an artist, I always try to find new ideas to grab the attention of followers, be it with a funny comic series or a discount on commissions. I am not always successful. Colleagues, on the other hand, come up with some pretty good ideas that increase their notoriety and in those moments a bit of anger comes to me.
When I realize that I am beginning to meditate too much on how unfair it is for others to succeed and I am not…. I retrace my steps, giving an imaginary slap to my ego, and I say to myself: “He / she is struggling as much as you are to fulfill. Stop being a bitch. Go ahead with your ideas. "
That's how I go back to being a normal person and turn negativity into positivity, wishing that person happiness and success. Wishing others well gives them much more satisfaction than sending them digs. The fact that I can do this, I owe it only to Buddhism, to the afternoons with the psychologist and also to the desire to change myself and my way of thinking.
I believe many people would benefit from this process.
How many things are useless and silly when you open your eyes.
Oh, it went well for me…. Too bad that this epiphany does not happen to everyone. It would save you a lot of drama, arguments and broken hearts.